[Zayn] Your hand fits in mine Like it’s made just for me But bear this in mind It was meant to be and im running through your hair with the fingers of my hand And it all makes sense to me [Liam] I know you’ve never loved The pimples on your cheeks When you smile, You’ve never loved Your stomach or your thighs the crookedness of your teeth that you had since you were young But I’ll love them endlessly CHORUS: [Zayn and Liam] I won’t let these little things Slip out of my mouth But if I do It’s you Oh it’s you They add up to I’m in love with you And all these little things [Louis] You can't let me go to bed Without a goodnight text And maybe that’s the reason That im used to staying up late And all those conversation Are the secrets that I keep Though it makes no sense to me [Harry] I know you’ve never loved the sound of your voice on tape You never want to know how much weigh You still have to squeeze into your jeans But you’re perfect to me CHORUS: [Harry and Niall] I won’t let these little things Slip out of my mouth but if it’s true It’s you Oh it’s you They add up to I’m in love with you And all these little things [Niall] You’ll never love yourself Half as much as I love you You’ll never treat yourself right darlin’ But I want you to If I let you know I’m here for you Maybe you’ll love yourself like I love you Oh.. [Harry] I’ve just let these little things Slip out of my mouth Because it’s you Oh it’s you It’s you They add up to And I’m in love with you And all these little things [All] I won’t let these little things Slip out of my mouth But if it’s true It’s you It’s you They add up to I’m in love with you And all your little things Read more: ONE DIRECTION - LITTLE THINGS LYRICS

Damn, can't believe where we're at now. You said it's my fault, but I don't even know how it was. You always said that I'm the only to blame but now I realized that I should have said the same. After every single lie about them other girls, and after all the times that you made me cry.. How could I be so dumb to let all that slide? How could I be so stupid to stay by your side? But I couldn't see it, love just had me blind. And all you did was take advantage of it everytime. As long as you were mine, I didn't care about a thing. I was a slave for your love, a puppet on your string. So just tell me that you love me, 'cause that's all I really wanna hear
And there I go again believing something I can't feel. As long as you were here, I didn't care if it was real. I learned that love is pain and the bruise is showing clear.


As time goes on, and time goes by, I'm still missing you, and I just don't know why. Every guy that I find doesn't seem like you. Back to a point in time when I was proud to call you mine. So I switch my mind, hoping things would change. But it never does, and you always stay the same. So I find another guy, so my heart can relax but like magnets we attract, so I keep on coming back. Then it's the same old thing, ding ding, step in the ring; fights every night, promises don't mean a thing. The only thing that grows is the amount of tears. But loving you is so hard to regret and wanting you is so hard to forget. But I would rather feel upset, instead of any neglect. I'm just a cadet fighting for your love, what's next?


And it seems like ever since we've been over, you only call and text me whenever you're not sober. You go out with your friends thinking nights will never end but once you back home, the pain is back again. We started out as friends, then slowly moved above, we were walking up in lust, tripped, fell into love. I always thought you'd be the one, a perfect match too. But usually the one you fall for, isn't the one to catch you. Love is a battle, and trust is fragile. And all you ever did was run it into the gravel. I gave you full control, I gave all you my soul.Cause I was never brave enough to ever let you go. So try to find a girl who will love you like I do; Who will put up with the lies and the fake alibis..

when i said "i'm over him" what i really mean was, i still pray for him to love me and be with me again,i still wish for him at 11:11,i cry myself to sleep,almost every night,while thinking about what we had,what we could've and what i want us to be in the future,i still think of him 24/7,i'm still in pain,i still want him and i still love him with everything i have and everything that i am.when someone tells me,that he does not deserve me,i still answer "yes,he does", and i even sometimes say "i didn't deserve him" and that's why he left" eventhough i know it's not right,i'm still jealous of the girl he's now in love with,and i still wish it was me. i still have his number on my phone,and i've not deleted the messeges he sent me,i still got his pictures and i'm so not over him
sigh. i fuckin miss you, ridhuan. but i guess you've moved on. i just cant seem to find anyone to replace you. im still in love with you. no matter how hard i try, i just cant forget you..

If you're too busy to call, I'll understand. If you don't have time to check on me, I'll understand. If you're late on our date, I'll understand. But if I stop loving you, it's your turn to understand.

It's kinda crazy that I keep on coming back. First we make up and then, we fight and break up again. It's obvious to see that you're just no good for me but still I find myself holding on cause every time the phone beeps, I'm hoping it's you. It's hard to be without you, I don't know what to do. These walls are closing in on me, I cant seem to breathe. I try to pull away from you but it's killing me because I cant stop loving you. Can't seem to find the truth, you got me so confused. If you only knew all the things you put me through. My friends keep telling me that I shoot up and leave but they don't understand that I'm addicted to you.

-Ida Rahim

Haai. It has been so long since I last posted. Damn. Too many things have been on my mind. Well, to start off, aku realise yaung banyak benda yang aku sembunyikan dari orang. Even Nad. I'm sorry, but I just think that bottling things up are better. I don't know, maybe I just want to put on a tough act? But today, I realised that I'm not that strong anymore. After all the shit I've been through. Thanks Cikgu Farhan, for having us do this.

What he asked us to do was write down my problems. Let it all out.At first, I thought it was a stupid idea till I realised how much things I have been keeping to myself. Well, I don't have a guy who listens to my problems. Normally if I had problems, I would tell my guy but apparently, this time, no. I don't think he even cares to know if I'm alright. I don't even know if he checks my blog. So fuck it. Then, I realised that no one actually wants to care about my problems, some are just curious. But I know Nad isnt like that but I just prefer keeping things to myself, recently. Sorry Nad.. c: So then, when he asked us to write, there was silence. I think I can think in silence. Suddenly, I thought about all the things I've been crying about at home. Well, you guys know, I can never cry in front of you guys. But just now, when I wrote about my problems, I just couldn't help but cry. Although my problems may be stupid to you guys, it just hurts me like hell. And no, it's not about my guy. I just realised there are many other things that I should worry about..

Okay, that's all. Nad, I don't know if I want to tell you about my problems /: It's just so hard to tell. I don't think you'll understand.. /:

Hiiiii, sudah lamer saye tidak update yer xD Hehe. So, saye tgh rase serba salah disini. Nad tawu luh kenape ye. Heh.

Okay, selamat hari raye~ Maaf zahir dan batin!

You never fail to put a smile on my face, Cody. I love youuuuuuuuuu! Back to in a r/s with you! Hehehehehhe. You're like my favourite song on the radio.♥

Haaaaaaaai, hari ini 2nd month♥ Dan saye tidak tahu ape untuk ditulis untuk awak♥ Pasal saye tk romantis macam awak :p Hahaha. Hai awak. Saye sayang awak. Awak sumpah cute untuk stay up late semata-mata nak bagi saye mesej yang super panjang, hehe. Okay, macam mentel pulak bebual gini :p So here's the real one:

Hi sayang,

First of all, I would like to say that you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I swear I love you so much. I know I'm not an expert in relationships, I don't know how to handle every fight we are going to have and I will never be a perfect person. We're both still young and we still have a lot more to learn but I'm willing to take chances, to risk it all and keep everything there is to know, just so I can keep us together. I won't give up on you.

I want to say that I'm sorry because sometimes, I get jealous, thinking that someone could make you happier than I could. I guess it's just my incurities acting up because I know I'm not the prettiest, the smartest, or most fun and exciting. But I do know one thing that no matter how hard and long you look, you'll never find someone who loves you the way I do.

Just so you know, there's a place in my heart that only you can fill. Just so you know, I love you now and I guess I always will. You are my everything. Thank you for loving me the way no one can. You understand me and you know just how to make things right. You will never know just how much I love you, but I will spend the rest of my days trying to show you. You saved me from the worst, and you are always there for me.

Lastly, I love you, Muhammad Ridhuan Bin Osman Pitchay♥ And I miss you so much. Oh, and I read through our old texts, I still wanna read your essay in MYE about me okay! :p Hehehe. Kalau you masih simpan uh kan xD Haha. I promise to be your warm spot to cuddle up to when you're feeling cold. I promise to be your soft place to land if you should fall. I promise to be there for you in all your joy and sorrow. Hehe :p

"My heart's a stereo. It beats for you, so listen close; hear my thoughts in every note♥"

And lastly, here's for you:



Hehehhee, mataey you! :p Sayang you kay. I still hate Nicki.

DAMN, I WANT ONE! EEEYERRRRR, WHY NO SELL IN SINGAPORE?!):

It sometimes sucks having a thing with someone so attractive. Sure, they’re yours. But there’s always people flirting with them. Someone who wants to get in between you two. And that’s when the jealousy and insecurity comes in. You don’t feel worth having them. You get jealous of every single person that talks to them. You just feel like shit.

Hi, my name is Hidayah Rahim♥ Haha. Changed my name at FACEBOOOOOOK! Haha, so I'm here to talk about the past 3 days of my life. Or 2. Im not sure xD Hahahha.

Friday.
I went to watch movie with Helmy. Watched Harry Potter Part2. Haha, at E!hub! Ohyeaah. Then uhm, met Nadhirah :p And Filza. Hahaha, wah, walletku sungguh tebal, baru dapat duit jajan! :D Hahahaa. Awesome uh. Ohkay tu out of topic :p Haha. So, after the movie, he gave me the thing that he bought for me when he went to KL. Hehehe. Appreciate it much.

Balik terus hancur sia harapan for it to be a great day. Balik, obviously aku ngantuk giler uh kan. Biler pat dalam wayang pun aku dah ngantuk nak mampus. I think because of my sleepiness I didn't concentrate on the moive and I find it quite boring and prefers part 1 instead, which I watched twice :p Hahaha. So.... Balik, aku mandi then pakai comp sume then baring uh kat sofa. Ngantuk sangat, aku tertdo. Beh mak aku jerit kat aku. Padahal I have been listening to her dari pagi sia. Before I went out with Helmy, my mum asked me to buy benda sume. Padahal I was running late. Still, tknk chaotic, aku pergi belikan. Beh terlupa barang, kene jerit beh kene turun beli lagi. Aku kat situ dah macam, wtf. Ahhhhhhh, malas uh nk bebual. But what I know is that, that night, was the night I cried like hell. I've never cried like that before. I guess, it's because I have kept everything in me after all this while. Not because of the beatings from you, mum. I felt numb. I couldn't even feel that you've hit me.

Saturday.
Which is semalam. Went for family's bbq! Haha, it got rid of my sadness. Ohyeah. Had so much fun. I was so rapat to my relatives. I think it's the best outing ever. I cooked uh seh! :D Haha. Awesome like hell. Tapi balik terus bau macam marinated bbq chicken xD Hahahah!

Okay tu je uh.

-HIDAYAHRAHIM♥

Hi, aku tgh tk puas hati ngan budak2 na/nt level aku. The case was settled, kau pe hal tk bilang kau punye class?! Sial uh, nak suruh kitorang gadoh pe sia? Dah ckp sorry pe kan? Abeh yang pasal budak tu nak datang class kite esok pe hal sia? Nak tunjuk taiko pe sia? Depan cikgu, kecut. Kalau kau banyak peh taiko, depan cikgu pun tkkan goyang luh sia! Get a life. Kalau pun kite cakap korang bodoh, beh korang rase korang tk bodoh, korang terase apehal? Just let the matter go uh. Kau nak ape sia? The whole school to be looking down on 2E1 pe sia? Isn't that already happening? The case was settled kan! Kau nak DM marah kau lagi? Nak kene suspend beh kene expel? No life pe? Lagilagi, korang tkde bukti pe. Chill uhs, korang sengaje eh nk buat stream riots on racial harmony day? :p haha. Okay, since aku tkde kene mengene sangat, aku cool je. Haha.

So anw, esok aku tktawu kalau nak kelua ngan Helmy ke tak.): Takut :p haha. Beh Ridhuan lagi tk bagi kalau sorang2 je kelua ngan diyerh. hehe.

-HIDAYAHRAHIM

Second update.

I'm the type of girl who have the tendency to stay up all night listening to music that reminds me of my current situation. Who hide their fears, hurt, pain and tears under their smiles and laughs all on a daily basis. The girls who wear their hearts on their sleeve. The girls who pray things will workout just once and they’ll be satisfied. The girls who scream and cry into their pillows because the rest of the world fails to listen. The girls who have it hard but don’t let anyone know that. The girls who may never have it easy. The girls who have so many secrets but will never tell a soul. The girls who have regrets and mistakes as a daily moral. The girls who don’t always win, who may never win. The girls who get what they get and don’t throw a fit. The girls who take life as it comes, hoping it’ll get easier somewhere down the road. The girls who love with all their hearts but always get broken. This is me. I'm not perfect and may never be. I have too much things on my mind. But I don't tell anyone. I keep things to myself. I wish someone could just be here for me, when I need someone. I just need to let out my feelings to someone but I don't think anyone wants to listen. And so, all I can do is, keep everything to myself. And I'm sick of it. I need to let go.

-HIDAYAHRAHIM

Hey, lame aku tak update eh :p Haha, so here I am(: Esok Racial Harmony Day! Hehe, I'm gonna wear PURPLEEEEE! :D Haha. LUUUUUUUUUUUUL. My mum and bro loves my cooking. LOL SIA. Epic. Dah luh salty xD Hahahahah.

Okay, time to be serious. Aku rase sedih kat kawan aku yang cita-citanya tk tersampai /: But nak buat macam mane kan. /: Chill yeah.. Okay, aku bebual kat sini pun bukannye diyerh buleh bace. Dayah, dayah -.-

I miss being called 'Dayah'. Haha 'cause I text people who calls me 'Ida' instead ): Haha. Please call me 'Dayah' or 'Hidayah' :p hahaha. Okay dah.

And remember, behind every girl's smile.. Lies her teeth. Okaydahthxbai.

-HIDAYAHRAHIM

Hi! How wow you? Haha. Kay lame like fuck. Hi. I am Hidayah. I'm going to get braces soon, for my ugly teeth. Yes, I have a lot of flaws. But who are you to judge me? Yes, I have poor eyesights. I'm going for Lasic when I'm older. Yes, I'm fat. But I'm trying my best to slim down. Yes, I don't have nice skin texture 'cause I'm starting to have pimples. But it's gonna get better when my hormones stop changing. Yes, I'm slow in learning. But I try my best. Yes, I'm not my old self anymore. People change. I'm not who I used to be. I hate myself. I just have too many flaws. I'm fugly. I'm not someone whom you would want to be around with. I'm not famous. I'm just plain jane. Someone ordinary. Please accept me as I am.

Hi! I have nothing to do. So, gonna update. Haha, been doing push-ups lately :p And skrg, cramp nak mampos. Haha, macam budak bodoh but the effort paid off 'cause tadi biler jumpe Ridhuan♥, he poked my arm and then kate 'B, sapau pe you?' Haha, I was like, wtff? Haha. Cute sia, I can't believe he's mine.

So, today actually, Nad♥♥ ajak kelua. So did Ridhuan♥. I was like, kalau kelua ngan Ridhuan♥ nanti Nad♥♥ kate lupe member pe. Haha, but then, I went out with Ridhuan♥ after that, met Nad♥♥. Banyak pe hearts :p Haha. So, went to meet Ridhuan♥ and did homework together which was only me doing my homework. Haha, then he helped me do my art. He was like, 'B, bunga mane ade straight camni? Bunga kan banyak curves.' Haha, tawu je. Tskk. Then Luqman came and then okay uh 'cause he isnt sombong anymore uh, which was my first impression of him :p Haha. So yeah♥

After which, went to meet Naddy♥♥ Hehehe. Went to popular and bought pennnnns!♥ Haha, was super bechok just now, I had no idea why. Macam retard sia aku. Tskk. So yeah, after that, went to BEDOK! Ate hot fudge and then took home Fillet 'o fish meal for my mum♥♥♥ Hehe. Had so much fun with Naddy♥♥ Haha. Thanks for making my day awesome, bestie! Also, not forgetting, my boyfriend!<3

-Ida Marley♥
11 more days!

Hi. I'm thankful to you, Mum, and Dad. Thanks for raising me up. Thankyou for trying your bestest to help me survive. I know, life was very hard, we had to try and find food by the roadside, go to the back of NTUC fairprices to see if it was our luck to find some leftover tin food that was about to expire, being looked down on, being kicked around as no one wanted us and many other cruel stuffs. I promise to work hard. Really, I will. I'm trying my best. I will show to them all that we are worthy and not useless.

Abang, please, it's not that I hate that girl. I didn't but after what she is doing to you now, seriously, I don't think she's worth it. Since you got to know her, what are we, mum, dad and me, to you? Okay, to put it shortly, if I and her was in trouble, who would you save? I bet it would be her. I miss you, damn it. Please.. I hate her for this. It's not that I'm jealous. I'm not. I just hate what she's doing to you..

Nothing else to say.. Going jogging tmr, maybe. Seeya.
-Ida Marley.

Hello, I'm so freakin' sleepy. Just got home from spending time with honeybunny♥ whom helped me with my project. Haha, thanks sayang♥ Appreciated much. I still hate that girl please): So spoilt. Haha. Baby♥ so cute sia, talk so much. Then tkde benda nk buat, bongkar laptop. Even Filza's thumbdrive :p We were hoping to find some interesting stuffs but we didn't.): Haha, so yeah. Lepas tu, dah tkde pape nak buat, bebual je. Which is mostly done by him. Which some words is like gangster-like so I tak paham tapi step paham. Haha, seriously. He calls me 'bhy' which I'm so not familliar with. But cute uh♥ I can't believe he just crushed my CODY SIMPSON picture in my wallet and threw it on the floor! Pfft abeh on lagu superbass. I hate it when he grips my hand. So tight): Jahat sia. Haha, okay I'm so sleepy): Maybe gonna sleep early soon. Sorry lambat post eh. Busy): My internet just started working, so yeah. And now the laptop batt's running out. So, till tomorrow! I'll update on weekends(:

-Ida Marley♥ Gonna change my name soon. Love you!
13 more days♥

Hai, this is gonna be just a short post, to keep my blog alive :p So, haaaaaaaai! How are you guys? Hope everything's fine(: I can't be long, have to finish up my math homework! So yeah, haha. Nothing to keep you guys updated uhhhhhh): Esok 30TH! Jangan lupe bawak thermometer! Haha, nanti kene marah :p Hahahaha. Okay diam sia. Aku memandai je sia buat plan untuk Saturday ngan Ridhuan. Haha, padahal ader Mendaki. Tskk, belum bilang ibu pulak tu. Haiyaaaa. I hope she gives :p Haha, okay, seriously, dah tak tawu ape nk type dah. TOODLES!

-'Cause I'm from Venus, you're from Mars.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai sayangz♥ Lamer jugak aku tak update eh! Haha, sorry people. Maklumlah, busy ngan mataey♥. HAHAHAHAHA. Macam paham siul. Okay, aku bored.

Tadi first day of school and aku happy sangat! Pasal I was looking forward to SPARKS and was hoping the class got Skateboarding and guess what? We did! Ohyeah, happy giler siul! Tapi kene pakai safety gears. Tskk. Tapi gerek uh. I don't know why tapi aku confident sia biler first time naik. Padahal dulu, biler orang bagi aku try, dorang ajar macam mane nak naik, dorang pegang aku, tetap aku tkde confident. Tapi tadi, kimak, confident giler sia, padahal tkde orang pegang aku. Haha. Tak takut jatuh langsung xD So yeah, orang kat sebelah aku asyik langgar aku. Tskk. Bukan kau, nad :p Hahaha.

Abeh balik terus semangat sia buat music project! HAHA. K dabis :p Hehe. So happy. Hehe. Dah luh sampai tk reply texttext orang xD Haha, aku tak reply mataey♥ beh diyerh kate tkpe beh tanye kalau aku ader gatal tak. Aku reply, "Yeah, ader pat pipi. Mosquito bite :p" Hahaha, sumpah mepek! Okay tu tk perlu bilang. Hehe. Okay uh, aku tkde pape nk update luh actually :p So yeah♥

-Ida Marley♥

Since someone♥ said that my blog's dead after getting attached, here I am! Haha, amikkau. Hi, tkmu marah kay?♥ Hehe, siap ngan heartshape lagi :p Aku tkde apeape nak update luh sayangboo♥ Haha. Just that I've learnt how to fishtail braid! :D Hehe, aku nak try blaja waterfall braid tapi susah /: Fringe aku dah pendek mah. Haiya! Haha, so yeah. Aku tkde pape nak bebual. Nari aku nak keluar, yaaaay! Haha, keluar ngan mummy, hehehe. Ader satu budak ni kan, tgk IAMNUMBERFOUR pun nak bilang aku :p Hahahahha! Okay, I seriously have nothing else to say. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, so, anything I'll edit this post when I come back, maner tawu ader fun things happen pat luar kan? :p So, pape picit! Seeya soon, beylocity. Hahaha! Oh, anw, I believe in KARMA. Yes, I believe that what goes around, comes around. I told you, KARMA would slap you hard in the face. I was right, wasn't I? Now, feel the way I felt. 'Cause that was exactly what I felt, at that point of time. Have fun!(:

Ida Marley♥

Hey guys! I'm soooo very sorry for the late update /: Been so busy, shopping! :D Haha, bought so many stuffs sia! I love it! Hehehehe. So, hi! Nothing to update you guys uh :p Just got back from EXPO! Bought a 'peace' necklace! OHYEAAAAAAH!~ Now I'm just waiting for my dear Ridhuan♥ to wake up after a long match, which he lost ): Well, there's always next time! Hehe. Oh yes, he is my boyfriend(: ♥15thJune2011, yes, the eclipse day!



(dark brown is me, the lighter one is him) I love you, ♥Muhammad Ridhuan Bin Osman Pitchay. OHMYGOD, mentang2 tawu namer fullname :p Haha, tadi kat EXPO ader contestant name Pitchay sia. :p Haha, related uh tu, confirm punye! Ohkay so, umm, yeah, we almost gave up. But then, everything turned out nice(:♥

HIBYEDIE.
-idaidaida.

Well hello. Today have been a very long day for me, man. Gaaaah, shop-till-you-drop day! :D Awesome though! Hehe, went to Parkway to Geylang to lastly, Bedok! :D Awesome giler to the max uh. Kay, skrg dah penat. So, here's for my sayangboo. Hehehe, so yeah.

Well, as you know, aku kelua ngan Ridhuan on Friday kankankan. It was awesome although when we first met, kinda awkward. Damn, he's hawt. Kay diam :p We went to watch a movie. Haha, he's just so cute. Kay uh, malu nak bebual pat sini :p Anyth, ask me xDD kay diam.

Damn, I fell for him but then his old crush comes back. Fuck. Pure bullshit sia. /: Well, if we're meant to be, then we're meant to be. So, I guess, if he thinks she's the one for him, go ahead. Yes, I do love him but, hais, I don't even know. Gah. What am I supposed to do when I think he's my prince charming but I'm not his cinderella? Let go. Move on. Yeah, okay, if I could, I would. Okay luh. Nothing to say uh.

- TRYINGTOMAKETHISLIFEMYOWN.

Hello! I am updating again, yaaaaaaay! Hehe, so here I am. I can't wait for tomorrow. Ohemgee, haha. My mum knows that I'm going out with him, and she's happy bout it. I find it weird though. She's like, 'Eh, esok kau nak pakai baju ape uh? Beh, besok gi mane? Esok, kau pakai acessories lawa sikit. Nanti balik kau gi polish tu kuku. Rambut nak gi gunting tak, kasi lawa sikit? Kasut nak beli satu tak?" Macam-macam sia. Sumpah, tk bohong. Cute siul, haha. Okay, so now I have to polish my nails. Zzzzz. Ohyeah, mum bought me a new wallet. Ohgosh, she's super cute today. I love her, alot. Muah.

-WRITTENINTHESTARS,AMILLIONMILESAWAY!~

Oh well, hello! Hehe, I am back, with yesterday's night picture, hair in a bun :D Haha, muka stoppit aku tawu. Wheeeee, I'm so active in blog eh :p I'm super duper happy bout it xD Lololol, aku belum makan ): Lapar seh! Padahal ibu dah masak. Tsk, nanti gemuk uh. Haiya, rendang pulak tuuuu! D: So, nanti nak kelua ngan ibu. Haiyaaaaaaa. Boring or what sia.

Listen to yourself you're a hot mess, st-st-sutter through your words, breaking a sweat. What's it gonna take to confess, what we both know? Yeah, I was not around for that one week. You were feeling like a pimp around your lame friends. Now your little party's gonna end, so here we go. I never thought that you would be the one, acting like a slut when I was gone. Maybe you shouldn't flirt and tell. You really should have kept it in your pants, 'cause I'm hearing dirty stories from your friends. On top of all the ways that you messed up, you weren't smart enough to keep your stupid mouth shut. I'm so sick of it, I've had enough. I hope you cry.

So that was for the guy whom I thought was very faithful to me. I regret being faithful. If I knew he was a jerk, I swore I would have flirted like there was no tomorrow. Oh well. Changed the song from Tonight I'm loving you to Beautiful Monster (:

I can't wait for tomorrow man. Please come fast! :p Okay, gotta go. Takecare guys! ♥

Haaaai, so this is me, when I get to spend time with my laptop! Webcam time! I miss webcam-ing sia. Like seriously. It's been a long time :D So here I am, haha. Oh, this is how I look like when I don't do anything to my hair. Ugly huh? Well, suck it up. I AM UGLY. :D And I'm born this way. So what, I'm still a rockstar :D Hahahah. Lol, look at my nonsense faces. :p RAMBUT AKU DAH PANJANG UH SIUL. UH UH SIUL UH UH! I SAYANG MY HAIR! ALOTTTTTTT PLEASE, DAH PANJANG GILER! :D ♥



























To all the people out there who has a grudge on me or whatever, you know my name. Not my story. So please shut the hell up and mind your own business. Just because she comes off strong, does not mean she didn't fall asleep crying. So, you never really know. I feel ugly. I feel useless. I feel lied to. I feel weak. I feel vulnerable. I feel used. I feel stupid. I feel naive. I feel depressed. I feel like I'm never going to be good enough for anyone. And I probably wont be. There’s always something wrong with me, that I'm not good enough to keep around. But I am who I am. I won't live to please you people. Dont like? Leave (: Fuck every single one of you who leaves me for someone or something else. t(-.-t)
"Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect -and I don't live to be- but before you start pointing fingers, make sure yours are clean!"
— Bob Marley

-WEAREWHOWEARE!

Heloooooo! Hehehe, updating for the 2nd time today♥ All because there's Anugerah today! Yaaaaaaaaaaay, I'm currently watching it. And I find ♥Epul♥ so cute. So, before any of my friends grab him, I shall say, he's mine!♥ HAHAHAHA. Muka tembok, I know. Lerrr, dari nanti menangis kan ): Haha, especially Nad :x Haha, tapi diyerh punye Syazani mah♥ Hehe. So many heartshapes ehhh. Hehehe. I hope Epul wins! Haha, but mum degil. She thinks the girls gonna win. Tskkk, kalau perempuan, I like Rahayu and Baby. Awesomez. Dorang tkya hearts luh :x hahahha. Okay, just a short update, to announce Epul being mine je♥ Haha, but suara diyerh kekek biler bebual. Oh well. No wonder they look hawt-er today! They went for makeover luh seh! No wonder Epul looks hawt today. Oh well, he has been cute all the while though♥ Hahaha. All the best Epul!♥

A picture which I like alot♥ Hehe, macam cool gitu. Haha, haters gonna hate. Rapers gonna rape. Ohyeah, hehe. Okay tata titi tutu! Love you guys!♥ xoxo
-MYLIPSLIKECARAMEL.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaai, saya sudah memperbaharui blogku. Look up! Awesome huh?! Haha. ♥ Di tepi kiri anda, ada gambar baru saya. Saya sekarang ini kelihatan macam itu. HAHAHA. Yeah, I'm wearing a green shirt and blue bermudas. -.- Sungguh tk kene. Haha, ohh, ada lagu baru jugak (: As you can see, if I change my song, I would put the title right below it (: So you guys know what you're gonna hear before clicking the 'play' button. Hehe. Currently, the song is Tonight by Enrique but is a cover by Conor Maynard (: It's kind of a mash up with 'Grenade' and 'DJ got us falling in love'. It's a nice mash up 'cause it's by my boypren mah (: Awesome ♥ Haha.

Gambar di atas tu sebenarnya tkde kene mengene dengan ape yang saya telah tuliskan. Sebenarnya, tu luh bagaimana saya kelihatan semalam. Sape2 yang telah imagine, tgk luh kalau it matched :p So, it's actually just for decorations :D Haha. Ridhuan sungguh cute. "I ngah fill application form utk jadi boyfriend you. I hope I meet the requirements." Hehe, cutekan. ♥ I know, hahaha.

So, this week, I think I'm going out with him on Friday. Since korang tak confirm lagi. And next week, aku tak free on Tuesday aye. Helmy ajak kelua. So, anything, ringringku. Ohyeahh ♥ SO LONG SUCKERSSSSSSS!~ Lol, rockers!

-IKNOWYOUWANTME,IMADEITOBVIOUSTHATIWANTYOUTOO.

Well, guess who's back! HAHA, duh sape lagi, DAYAH THE DAYAK. Luuuul, aku bored ): Okay, so here I am, hair tied in a bun, in a sleeveless tee, bermudas and typing this out. Imagine how I look like! Haha, awesomez. Plain me. With a stupid pimple that just won't go away, on my right cheek ): I hate you, pimple. Now, do me a favour and go away. Pleaaaaase! *muke cute* Haha, diam eh Dayah.

So, hari ni ader satu budak mintak aku jadi girlfriend diyerh. Umur diyerh 13. Diyerh terpikat kat aku pun aku tk tawu macam maner. Yang peliknya, diyerh berkawan dengan Varun. Haha, what a small world eh. Dah suke aku beh bilang Varun. Whaaat. Make my water face drop only. Haha, aku tk tawu macam mane nak reject. Luuuul, beh aku kate give me time to think. Heh. Macam desperate pulak diyerh tu. Tapi aku macam belum ready for relationshipz /: How? Anyway, sapesape yang tawu ni nombor '94519760', please ringring aku. Aku sumpah taktawu sape. Diyerh msg aku pagi2 buta, kul 1, tanye aku kalau masih awake. Beh biler aku tanye sape, diyerh suruh forget it. :o Beh msg aku buatpe sia? Hais. Peoplez these dayz.

Aku masih sakit ): Rase rimas semacam sia. Macam nak kelua dari rumah. o.o pasal aku kat rumah rase macam entah eh.. Haha, wheeeee. So, guyz, esok tak dapat ikut korangz gi class outingz /: Sorry yeah. Must rest at home uhhhhhhh. Korang tawu uh parents aku cam mane. ZZZZZ. Haha, beh yang 9th tu confirm tak? 'Cause kalau confirm, aku tak kelua ngan Marley on 10th. Cause aku leh kelua 1 kali je these week. /: Do confirm asap ayes.

Okay, sekarangz aku dah tkde benda nak bebual. Satu pmpn ni, aku tanye sape diyerh att ngan, diyerh tknk bilang cause diyerh kate aku belum bilang diyerh sape ex aku. Biler aku dah bilang, diyerh suruh aku tunggu setengah jam. Hmm. Budakbudak zaman sekarang eh.. ZZZZZZ. Kay, cousin aku pun dah sampai. Kene layan luh, kalau tak, nanti diyerh merajuk ): Hehe. Malam maybe aku update lagi ayes, love you guyz.

-MAYBEYOUSHOULDJUSTSHUTUP.

Hello babes, hunks, chicks and chickens. Lol, otak tengah tak center. Baru abis makan ubat (: Selsama macam babi. Baik pe. Awezomez. Time time aku sakit, hujan. Beh sejuk lak tu. Grrrr. Freezing cam bodoh nye bodoh. Kay that doesnt make sense yeah. Kay, kepala macam nak meletup or what ): Sakit ): Uhhhh, baik keyboard kene mucus. Eeew or what sia.

Kay, aku taktawu aper nak buat ): I would go through all this pain, take a bullet straight through my brain. Yes I would die for you baby, but you won't do the same. Haha, anyway, tadi aku tgk satu cete ni. Aku masih dara. Cerita diyerh awezomez. It's gerek ttm. Firdaus so hawt. So alim. In real life, he is too. Baik sia, rupa ader, akhlak ader, duit ader. Full package. Lol. Aku nak seseorang yang macam gitu. Tapi aku sendiri tk perfect. Tu pasal skrg aku nak berubah. For the better. Kalau buleh, aku tak nak get into relationships. Tapi aku tktawu ape nak bilang kat diyerh kalau aku reject.. Haiyaaa.

Okay, aku taktawu ape nak buat dah. Suara aku sedap pe :D Haha awezomez. Dah uh, nak rehat. Zzzz. Semalam epic fail sia haadee. Nak kacau aku sal marley beh salah sebut name. Tgk aku ngan muke confident beh jerit "Awi Romeo!" kat depan muke aku. Aku tgk diyerh dah macam, "Salah name pe boy?" Beh muke dah kecut beh jerit name "Awi Marley". Aku serious muke dah fed up beh terus diyerh kate "Eh, sorry sorry. Wan Marley!" Aku dah macam, "Looooool, kekek pe. Name pun leh salah" Tsk.

-TODAY I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING!~

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai. Ohyeah, maciam korangs? :D Awesome takz holidayzzzz? Haha, tak, aku tawu. Tapi tadi, awesomez giler bagi aku. Haha, went for donation thingy! Ohyeah, gerek giler siuuulz! Haha, okay diam. This is a female version of 'Wedding Dress by Taeyang' that I've made. Main idea was from the other cover. Changed the 'lady' to 'baby' and 'girl' to 'boy' and 'wedding dress' to 'wedding suit' so that I don't sound lebianic :p Haha, okayz.

Never should've let you go, never found myself at home, ever since that day that you walked right out the door. You were like my beating heart that I, I can't control. Even though we've grown apart, my brain cant seem to let you go. Thinking back to the old times when you kept me up late at night, we use to mess around, laugh and play, fuss and fight. I guess its too late, I'm dancing this dance alone. This chapters done, the story goes on.

Baby, I can't believe that you are not with me, 'Cause you should be my baby. All I want is to set your heart free. But if you believe that you belong with her, promise me, you wont let anyone hurt you. Remember, I will always be here for you even if it kills me to see you in that wedding suit, ohh see you in that wedding suit. See you in that wedding suit, Oh see you in that wedding suit.

Snappin out this misery, depression this ain't me. But I always turn around 180 degrees. You got control of me. And I, I cant explain. Somebody call 911 Emergency, before I go insane. Since you've moved on, you took a piece of me, give it back! So much pain in my chest. Blacking out, heart attack!

And I see you with your girl and it's hard to understand. If we belong, if I did you wrong, where we even began. We would always fuss and fight and it seems nothing was right. But I loved you boy and you were my world but you'd never trust this girl. And I just don't get when you're acting like some other person. But I try my best to hold on at the times when it ain't working. And everytime that you say it's over it breaks my heart and I don't know why. 'Cause you've done it a lot of times in the past but I get back up and try. You said we could work it out, how could you hurt me now? And you moved on to the next, I'm left with an imperfect smile.
-end-

I don't know what else to type about. How? Awesome not? :p
I got my Strepsilzzz! It tastes minty xD

- imperfectsmile.
Didn't give him all my love, I guess now I got my payback. Now I'm all alone thinkin' all about my baby. Hey, he was so easy to love. But wait, I guess love wasn't enough.

Hai kawan-kawanku yang berhati mulia, yang sanggup check on blog aku. Korang theeeee best! Haha, kay aku tawu aku lame. Memangzzzzzz, kaching! Haha, aku saket tekak ): And aku very happy aku dapat pakai lappy aku! Ohyeaah, dah lame kiter dipisahkan tau. Abang aku amek, tknk bagi balik pasal diyerh pakai untuk poly punyer kerja. Poly gi mampos sua. Haha, kay tu mepek. Anyway, that day, aku pergi satu seminar ape entah ni, diyerh kater ITE tu bagus luh ape luh, walaupun dalam ITE, it's NOT the end, but It's To Excel. GI MAAAAAMS SUA. Diyerh kater ITE bagus, NT bagus, tk semestinye dorang bodoh luh ape luh. Aku kat situ dah macam, "Uhkay, hancur semangat aku nak gi JC." Mak aku ketawe sia biler dengar aku cakap gitu. Haha, serious sioooot. Tapi, memang betul uh, ITE bagus. Depends on sape yang blajar kat situ jugakkkkkkkk!

Aku sebenarnya ni skrg, tkde keje nak buat. Tu pasal aku blog. Ohyeaaaaaah. Tadi kekasih ku datang. Haha, kay macam paham. Takde luh, cousin aku datang. Diyerh babi, diyerh buat aku nangis. Diyerh pakse aku bace diary2 aku. Abeh diary2 aku sume citer sedih2. Actually bukan citer sedih. Happy memories tapi brings tears to my eyes. Pahampaham kan luh yer! :D Haha, so, aku kat situ nangis macam budak bodoh. Abeh diyerh nak pujuk tapi diyerh makin buat aku nangis pasal diyerh cakap benda merepek2. Haha, but he's the best luh. Sayaaang kau.

Sekarang, aku dah tak tahu ape mahu bebual. ): Boooring nye kat rumah ): Oh, aku paling sedih bila orang ingat aku ader affair ngan bestfriend aku sendiri. Abeh taktawu nak tanya aku, beh buat tindakan sendiri. Tu very sedih. Okay, aku taktawu ape aku tengah bebual. Aku in depressed mode xD <-- depressed mode ader muke happy. Cool eh aku, OHYEAAAAAH. Aku nak duit please. And aku nak kelua ngan kawan2ku hari2. Please. Aku rindu dorang ): Esok ader math remedial uh! Shiiit, lupe sia aku. ZZZZ. Mak aku panggil aku gangster sia. Semalam uh, ader satu orang ni tertolak mak aku, beh mak aku dah macam "Tak nampak orang pe?" And aku standard uh, bebual main hembus je, tk pakai otak. Haha, aku kate "Mak kan lagi besar dari diyerh, ape takut, mak tolak diyerh balik, diyerh jatuh, mak duduk kan diyerh, kasi diyerh penyek sua, habis cerita." Abeh terus kene "Mak tak macam tu. Tu gangster peh orang je ckp" Kiwaaaak, cam tu pun kene gangster ): Sedih. Ni season aku kene panggil gangster pe? ):

Dah aku bored. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Kiss me through the phone!~ Haha, kay diam. Holidays boring seh. ): Nak kelua pleaaaaaaaaaaase. Oh shit, saturday ader CIP. Korang korang, please, tolong. Hehe, datang kat 400+ please, donate! Donate pat aku, tkmu donate pat orang lain! Hehehe, ohyeaaaaaaah!~

Aku gaduh pat facebook. Aku nak mintak maaf. Tapi aku malas. Macam buang masa. Pasal kalau dah mintak maaf pun, aku tetap dianggap stranger. Ohyeaaaaaaah. Mak aku kater, kalau gaduh ngan orang, beh tak bebual untuk 3 hari and so on, dosa. Is this counted? :o aku tknk tambah dosa please. And ape yang aku nak bilang is, ridhuan was just my bestie. Nothing more than that. Tapi sekarang, lain cerita. Hehe.

Aku nak strepsils. Colour purple. Tapi macam sedih uh nak makan tu strepsil. Ader luh sebab2 tertentu.. Okay luh, aku nak message2. Lol.

- saddedgirl97_forgothowtolove@madworld.com

Hello people! :D This post is basically for every girl whose heart is broken by some assholes that did not deserve them but they still love the jerks no matter what and can't get over them.

To start off, GET OVER HIM. He's not even worth it. He is not worth your time or your tears. Yeah you loved him, I know that. And I know you just can't see yourself with anyone other than him, I get that. I've been there, But why should you spend all your time sitting at home, bawling your eyes out and wondering where he is and who he is with? Do you honestly think he thinking about you? No. Sure, it hurts, the fact that he is out there falling in and out of love with other girls. Yeah, you're going to see him with one of his new girlfriends. Prepare yourself, 'cause straight up, it's going to hurt. He will hold her a little closer and squeeze her hand a little tighter just because he knows you're watching. He knows it's killing you, that's why he will do it.

So what if he doesn't talk to you? Do you honestly wanna be friends with an asshole like him anyways? Thing is, I know you still do. But give it time. Because all he would do is talk about his new girlfriend and just try and make you jealous. Do you really wanna hear that? No. Screw him and his girlfriend. He will be sorry. Trust me. When he finally sees you with some other guy, who's not him. With that huge grin on your face and your boyfriend holding you close, he will realise how happy you are now. And how happy your boyfriend is because he has you; the girl of his dreams. He will realise the huge mistake he made when he let you go, when he decided to choose her over you. When he decided he just did not love you the same. Trust me, he will be sorry.

So, don't go on spending nights waiting for that one phone call you know you're never going to get. Or that text message you know he will never send you, simply because he likes to ignore you. He likes to pretend he does not see you online, he does it out of spite just because he knows it's killing you. I'm not gonna lie to you. It will hurt, hurt alot. But it will hurt even more when you see her name and how much he loves her in his profile. It's all going to hurt. Knowing that you're not the girl that's making him smile. Knowing that you're not the first person he thinks of when he wakes up and the last before going to sleep. Knowing you're not the face on the background of his handphone anymore. Knowing you won''t be spending every single moment possible with him. Knowing there's not gonna be no more late night messages, arguing about who loves who the most.

And you know what, today, tomorrow, next week, months from now, you're phone will go off with a text message, you will instantly grab your phone hoping it's him saying he wants you back, wanting to give your relationship another shot. But trust me, he's got too much pride. Even if he wanted to get back to you, he wouldn't tell you. You're soon gonna realise he doesn't care about you anymore and he won't be the first person you call when you're upset. He won't be the one to put that smile back on your face. Yeah, it's gonna hurt. But you know what you're gonna do? You're gonna hold your head up. You're gonna show him you're better than him and you don't need him in your life. You're gonna prove to him that he made the biggest mistake of his life, letting you go and that you never really needed him anyways.

I hope this post has helped you, in some ways. 'Cause I don't wanna see you cry anymore. You're a strong girl. Move on, please. It's gonna take time. And I know I'm not the best person to give this advice. But I try. Please be alright (:

- Imissyouterribly.

Hello, meet my boyfriend <3 Okay dah. 18may2011

So, today was so fun like hell manx. After school, went to my house and lepak-ed :D Awesome shiiiiiiiiitz! I love my bestfriends<3 Ohyeah! We're all in this together. I love 2011. 2010 was so shitty. So many fights and misunderstandings. But this year, we're soooo together. I loike alot. Ohyeahhhh! Hehehe. I hope tomorrow's gonna be another awesome day. Well, it is gonna be, 'cause I have my bestfriends! :D Ohyeaaaah.

I have nothing else to say. But to say nothing. Haha, ok mepek. I'm gonna save up money to buy a longboard and other stuffs. Hehe, wish me luck 'cause I never ever end up saving. But spending. Grrrrrr, I should learn how to save instead of spending. I wish I was rich /: GAAAAH, if only I was rich, I'd buy the whole universe. Haha, macam paham sioooooooots.

Okay, aku nak kene urut kaki ibu. So, seeya! <3 before that, i hope that you're gonna be fine and fix things up with your mum cause im sure im gonna miss you like hell if you dont text me for a very long period of time. In fact, i miss you already. Please please please be alright. Anything, you can always count on me. Hatihati and please, dont do anything harmful or stupid. Please control your anger. And also, afterall, she's your mum. Please give in to her. I love you.

- Macam paham siolz aku pasal conor maynard!

Heyya people of all kinds of races. Macam paham uh ni budak punye introduction. NYEHEHEHEHE. Hi, blogger. I missed you. I hope you missed me too. 'Cause I really miss you. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. So today was like awesome like that. Hahaha, went to the Gym, eh Nad eh? :D Awesome seh berpeluh rabaaaaaaaak! HAHAHA. Kay dah diam.

Okay luh. Takde ape ape nak bebual luh. Actually ader luh tapi macam malas gitu nak type kan. So, back to texting and I wanna level up in Maple. HAHAHAHA GAME LAMER SIOOOOL. Uh, lantak uh. Orang blakang aku dalam kelas pun nak maen balek pe. HEHEHE. Maple Big Bang. LOOOOL. Sumpah aku lame. Tapi aku bored. So yeah. Maple pun Maple luh ehhh. Asalkan ader benda nak waste time on xD

So anyway, aku takot besok. 'Cause tadi Haadee dalam Mac lab amek phone aku beh tgk sape aku text. Abeh diyerh nampak namer Marley abeh diyerh kacau. Macam paham uh diyerh. Abeh buleh kate 'Tkpe luh, kite kan bestfriend, ni secret, aku tk bilang sape2'. Haha, sumpah mepek siooooot. Beh lepas tu kate yang esok diyerh nk bilang sume orang. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT, relax one corner sua boy. Kay aku bukan minah.

So, aku nk chao. Maen. GAME.

- TICKLIST! *HAHAHAHA*

Hey people on Earth that cares to read my blog! :D Welcome to my blog and have fun reading my nonsensical daily updates! Hope you enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!~ Hehehehe. Basically, I will be updating on what YOU GUYS missed out today. Hahaha, well it's nothing much but today is an awesome day for me! The best one I have ever had in like what, months?! FUHLERMAK. Ohkay, without further ado, let's start the craaaaaaaaap! :D

I had my swimming test in the morning at 8am. It was freaking awesome, as I FAILEEEEED!~ How cool is that? VERY! Hahaha, k. I didn't even swim siaaaaal. I just like um, stayed there, wet my head and yeah. That was all xD It was fun ok! Then, we stayed behind to play with water for awhile, HEHEHEHEHEH! It was fun! Okay, how many times have I said that line?! Geeeeee, I love the water. HAHAHA. Okay lame. I tried floating but I couldn't! FUCKMYLIFEMAAAAAANX. Oh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!~ Why can't I float?!?! So then, I have to attend the swimming classes now. Pfffft!~

After the swimming, I went home, got changed and off I went to E!HUB with Nadhirah, FilzAdli *NYEHEHEHHE* and Khairuddin :D To watch the most super duper uber cool awesome shitass movie; FAST&FURIOUS5! Oh yeahhhhhhhhh!~ It was fun. Okay Dayah, get that line off you. Haha, it was more than fun. It was cold xD Hahahahahhaha. The cars are so dooooooope! I loike man. *Filza : I love!* Haha, stoppit eh Filza. Hhehe, I love the cars mannnnnnnx! OHYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. So, basically, today is just awesome 'cause it was meant to be! With Marley completing my awesome day by texting me :D How cool is that? Hehe. Verrrrrry! Lol dayah lol. Okay I actually have nothing else to say xD Today is just awesome as it is. Gosh, I love today!

Okay tata people.

- I love every little thing you do, boy.

Hiiiii, I'm typing this is wordpad while waiting for blogger to stop merajuk-ing with me. I'm sorry I've abandoned you for such a long time but you don't have to do this to me ): I need you in my life. I took you for granted, I'm soryy, Blogger. I love you! ): Pleasepleaseplease be alright. But once you guys read this on my blog, it means that me and Blogger are okay by then. *I won't time with Tumblr anymore, Blogger. Or Facebook* I love you, and only you, Blogger! Okay diam.

So, I thought I wanted to make a very last post for the guy whom I thought was the one for me. Well, it turned out that we aren't made for each other. So, I guess I just have to accept the fact that he isn't the one. And he moved on. And that I have to stop blaming myself or him for the break up. What's done, can't be undone. I have to leave this behind and move on to the future. He's my past. And someone out there would be my future. I figured that out. Well, I'm not gonna be the girl who regrets loving someone so deeply. Well, the relationship was worth it. We had our ups and downs. It was great. But well, every great and wonderful things comes to an end. I'm not even mad anymore, that you moved on. I understand that life has to go on. Even though you promised to stay. But feelings change. I got to accept the fact. If she makes you happy, I'm happy for you.

Here it goes, to the guy whom once was the most important person in my life. I didn't realise it at that time. I can't forgive myself for the way I treated you, so, I don't really expect you to, either. It's just that.. I don't even know. You were the one that I wanted, the one that I needed, the one that I just got to have just to succeed. When I first saw you, I knew it was real. I'm sorry bout the pain that I made you feel, to have to go through my moodswings and stuffs. I may not realise that I have hurt you, but I'm really sorry if I did. I remember when I first looked into your eyes, it was like I was there, heaven in the skies. You told me we were crazy in love but you weren't there when push came to shove. If you loved me as much as you said you did, then you wouldn't have hurt me like I ain't shit. Now you push me away like you never even knew me. I loved you with my heart, really and truly. I guess you forgot all the times that we shared, when I would run my fingers through your hair. I don't know how I could do you so wrong. You were the number one in my heart but now I got to accept the fact that our love's torn apart. You were my everything and I really miss you. I'm not hoping to get back with you, just at least don't treat me like I'm a stranger to you. I know you're gonna sit and play this with your new girl, and then sit and laugh as you're holding her hand. The thought of that once shattered my heart. It breaks in my soul and tears it apart, 'cause I never really wanted to let go. But now, I'm fine with it.

Yes, without you, everything seems so strange. Your name is forever planted in my brain. What about the time when you looked into my eyes, told me you loved me as you would hug me. I guess everything you said was just a lie. I could feel you change nearing the end of the relationship. I guess it was because of her. I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes as now I'm not a single thought in your mind. I can see clearly, my love is not blind. I had a special feeling for you, I thought you had it too. But no matter what, you'll always be in my heart. 'Cause my heart is stubborn to not erase your name. But that doesn't mean you mean what you meant to me when we were together. I remember all the times that I had with you. When we broke up, I couldn't take all the pain that I feel. I don't want to hear that you no longer care. Now I'm nothing to you, you're with another girl.

I do miss you. I just thought we were meant to be. I guess now, we'll never know. The only thing I want is for you to be happy. Whether it be with me or without me. I just want you to be happy. And dear new girlfriend, treat him okay, he always acts tough around his friends, but it's just an act. Laugh at his jokes, even when they're not funny. It makes him happy. Never be the one to let go of his hugs first, it puts a huge smile on his face. Please treat him nice. Never let your moodswings get in the way. 'Cause mine always did. And I think it made him feel bored with me. Okay, that's all.

When someone walks out of my life, I let them. I find that there is no use in wasting my time on people that leaves me. What I make of myself and my future is no longer tied to them. Yeah, I may miss them but I then remember that, it wasn't me who gave up. They did. As much as I wanted everything to work out nicely, he was negative on our relationship. Well, it's time for me to move on. Yeah, I got over you. Yes, now I'm much more stronger. At last I get to pour out what has been in my heart. And if you guys want to know why I felt like crying during the exam, I was thinking about this. You guys were happy for me that I had broken up with the guy whom you guys think is a jerk. But no one really asked me how I felt. But it doesn't matter now (: I'm fine.

Oh yes, I fell for another guy. The guy who was there for me when I was at my lowest. You picked me up, breathed new life in me. I owe my life to you. He is none other than Ridhuan Marley, who is my bestfriend. He listens to me. Well, we are more than just friends. But less than lovers. I love the way the relationship is. There is no awkwardness, as we treat each other as bestfriends and joke around each other. But when I need someone to listen, he acts like my boyfriend and comfort me. I just love him for who he is. Thanks for being there for me, Ridhuan. I love you. And I'm lucky I'm in love with my bestfriend. Yes, I may talk about my ex, but he doesn't matter now, anymore. I've got you. I don't want to make the same mistake twice. I promise to treat you right.

Okay guys, that's all I want to post. *I'm still typing this in wordpad, guys* Toooot, let me try to post this on Blogger. Gosh, it's still currently unavailable ):< I hate you. GRRRRRRRRR. Okay. Then this means that I have to post this tomorrow. Pfffffft. Take care guys, gays, lesbians, fuckers, dickheads, bitches. Haha. Kbye

- I got the magic in me. K sumpah mepek.

Hello! I am bored 'cause I have no one to text, as he is having tuition. And oh shit. I forgot to text the other guy. Ah shit. Phone tengah charge ):

Well, Aku actually kat sini pasal ader benda terjadi yang Aku nak share yang paling cute sekali. Padahal tak cute sangat. Tapi, bace je luh eh. I was massaging my mum's knee, as she had told to do since like forever. She said I had to do it till news ended. And I was like bragging and bragging until I heard "Ngee Ann" being mentioned on the news and I was like "Ok mum, I will do until this ends", haha she can even continue with "Ngee Ann Poly luh, not Secondary". Hahaha, epic.

Anugerah was awesome *MACAM PAHAM GITU AKU TENGOK NI ANUGERAH* Haha, nah I didn't watch it yesterday. I just watched the playback. Haha, I hated all the girls' singings. O.O Until I saw the last contestant's name and I said "I'm so gonna vote for this one" 'cause you'll know what I mean when you see the name of the contestant. HEHEHEHEHEHE! Okay, I'm talking to myself and this is not fun. GAAAAAAH.

I'm in love with a guy whose name starts with 'R' and ends with 'IDHUAN'. HAHAHAHA, okay epic-ness. I can't wait for our MidYear to end. HEHEHE. Ahhh, MidYear! I don't want the results, puh-lease! Please please please ): I can't even bear to think about it. Okay, I'm sleepy. It's been a long time since I posted like this. Normally is like short stuffs. HEHEHE. Not anymore, I guess. When I have time, I'm gonna update okay guys, *points to the only two readers, which I'm confident that they're gonna read this* Namer diorang Nadhirah dengan Filza (: HAHAHAHA. Okay, rahsia terbongkar uh korangs. Sorry, wasn't me. It was the computer, he wanted to blackmail me if I didn't tell him who. ): Sad life, huh?

I love Avril Lavigne. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, she's so WOW! I love her to the max. Like seriously, she lives her life like how she wants it to be! And I want to do that! She's my role model now. My icon. Gosh. And also, I love Cody Simpson. *Takde, saje je nak kasi satu orang ni jealous* Jealous tak? HAHAHA. I killed Nicki Minaj by the time you read this. Oh and it's not Nicki Meenachi, *Nad* Hahaha. Okay Aku sumpah Aku dah bebual merepekkkkkz. Time to say goodnight and sleeptight (:

Tapi Aku masih mahu berbual merepek ): Buleh luh eh? Kalau yer pun, Aku bebual sorang kan, korang bacer pun lambat punye *muker sedih tapi mintak kene smack*. Ku menyintaimu sedalam-dalam hatiku! Hahahahaha! Okay lame, ni luh orang mabuk cinta. *MACAMPAHAAAAAAAAAM UH LUUUUUU* Haha, diam luh, computer. Memekak dari tadi, tak bagus tauu. *goyang finger* AHHHHH *melts* Okay diam. Seriously, IDA, get a life. HAHA. I am already having one. In my stomach. HAHAHA, kbye.

R-IDHUAN punye would be. K LAME. ^^v

My Introduction for my dear Marley, * continued from the text *

Well, if you're going to fall in love with me, it's only fair that you know what you're falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession in trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me.

- Thetroubledgirl.

What truth?! Wait. You dont even check my blog. Why would you. So that status isnt for me. It appeared on my newsfeed for godsake. And it got me wondering.. But well, it cant be meant for me cause you dont even care about me anymore. But if it was for me.. What truth, can give you the right to leave me for anoher girl? Huh!

I hatr smokers. But for you, baby, youre an execption. RM <3

I GOT OVER YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!~

Yeah I got the courage to say that now. I don't even hurt at the mention of your name anymore! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Packed all the stuffs you gave to me. Never gonna look at it anymore. Well, I don't even know you anymore. You never existed. We didn't go through anything together. That's how you wanted it to be right? Oh yeah! I don't even care if you have a replacement. All I know is, the guy whom I used to know was better. And she'll never know that side of you, ever. 'Cause you changed. So, I'm just gonna pretend you never existed. :D

I'm gonna concentrate on my future. Never gonna look back on the past. I can't keep holding on to the memories. I'm supposed to make new memories! Oh yeah, I guess your forever meant until you found someone better. Haha, * pretends as if I don't know anything * Haha.

Furthermore, I'm lucky I'm in love with my bestfriend <3

We would of made 1 year and 2 months this month.

But we broke up a month ago. We had our ups and downs, we put each other through hell and back, but I can never say I regretted being with you. You were like my bestfriend, but of course my boyfriend. I can act myself around you and you took me for who I am. I hurt you, you hurt me. It was equal. We had the best time, and people loved how we were together. I honestly miss you so much, but now you just walked out of my life. As if I was nothing.. It hurts to look back at what we had. When I see you, I fall back in love with you, you make my heart skip a beat.. But you don't notice that, I'm the only one trying. Why did you change? Why did you turn into an asshole? Why do your friends notice everything I do for you, but you dont? Why am I getting treated differently. Go ahead have your space, have all the girls you want, but remember what you had, who was the only one that gave a fuck when no one else did. Remember who was there to wipe your tears away. Dont get me wrong but I don't understand how you could forget me that fast. I wanna move on, but something is holding me back. You dont understand how I just wanna run into your arms, but I cant. Please explain everything to me.. Ohh, right. You dont wanna talk about any of that. This date means the world to me.. And always will be labeled on my heart.. It's time to let go.. I love you..
I dont know what to feel.

Hello, I am bored. Who's with me? Today is so... Saddening. Haha, yeah of course, kerana tidak dapat berjumpa dengan Marley. Stupid geography project. End up, did not do it at all. What the faaaaaaaaaat!~ Could have used the time to meet Marleeeeeeeey manx. Yeah but who cares. I still love Simpson! Hahaha, I'm sooooo gonna print his pictures manx. Nyehehehe! I love Simpson alot. ^^v

Soooooooooo, nothing much happened. Except the fact that Tristan keeps disturbing me about Marley! Faaaaat you manx! Irritating sioool! Uh uh, siol! Hahaha. So epic, oh yeah, I love Bancho too. Hahahahha. Eh seriously, I don't know what to blog. When I was at school, there were so many things I wanted to blog sia! When I get home, I forget. What the gemook is this!~

Marley's prepaid is going low. So, have to wait till this Friday to have him topped up his card. Haha, what a long wait. But worth waiting xD WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, serious shit, I don't know what to talk about.

Bitch, stop asking me these kind of things. I don't want to talk about it. Get me?! Get a fucking decent life manx! * Oh wait, someone texted! :D * Yay, it was Marley! Hahaha, no wonder it took so long for him to reply, he was waiting for my reply but actually I already did but he didn't notice. So yeah, where was I again? Haha. Oh that bitch. Actually, bitches. I don't even know them sial! Irrits bodooooooh~ Suddenly I on MSN ( since a longlong time ), these people attack me with a lot of questions while actually, I don't and never have talked to them ever before! I was like, " What the faaaaaaaaaaaat!~ " Hahahaha. I'm so lazy to entertain their questions. Haish. Kenape luh orang2 macam gini maseh hidup?! It's like, I broke up, so? I don't need your comments ok. Get a life. UHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Formspring lagi aku malas.

Today, I saw you. Haha, epic failure. When I saw Royston, I was shocked upon seeing an ITE dude, then I thought, hey ni ciner pe, cause I did not recognise him. I was afraid to see you 'cause I did not know how to react if I did. Then when I looked again, my whole world stopped. Cause I saw you. My phone almost dropped sia. But I did manage a smile, so yay me!!~ I'm so proud of myself~ Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, forget about the price tag.

I'm so happy that I finished my DnT mannnn~ I so love my product siaaaal! Hahahaha! I love it soooooooooo much~ Yeah baby! Oh yeah. Haha, seriously, now, I have no idea anymore. And, I'm tired. Hope to meet up soon with Marleeeeeeeeeeeeeey~ Hehehe. LOL DAYAH LOL. Okay diam. I love simpson. MUAHHH.

- Ida MJ. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. K mepek. WHAT THE GEMOOOK!~

I miss how you would make me laugh out of my own frustration. But you just come to know that you get so used to being loved, and in one second it can all come crashing down. Now I know to not let anything get that far ever again, because I didn’t know how I could wake up one morning and have it all hit me. I didn’t know I could miss you this much.

But I know I should be over you. And yes, I'm trying to. But when I hear your name being mentioned, I just forget about how much I need to get over you. And I fall in love with you all over again. It hurts to hear these rumours about you. I'm hoping that it's not true. But if it's true, I'm happy for you, to have found your happiness and moved on.

Girl, you got to stop lying. It's so hard to believe you. And about him? I just don't know how to feel.

Just imagining you holding hands with another girl hurts a lot. But, fml. Who cares.

- SIMPSONNNNNNNNN

Shout it from the rooftop, tell 'em I was happy, now my heart is broken.

8 April,
It ended. Everything we had. I don't know how to go on. You move on too fast, boy. I'm left here hanging alone all by myself. God, stop these tears from coming out, please. A part of me just won't let go. After all we've been through together.. Everything happened so fast. I still can't accept the fact that we're through.

- I wonder what to do with my class tee. I wanna burn it.

AKU NAK MATI PLEASE.

Kat skola tk tenteram. Kat umah binget. Mataer buat hal. Gerek pe. Ape lagi yang Kau nak bagi kat aku! Kimak. Mampos pun baek sial. Aku dah sabar sabar sabar beh Kau makin bagi bagi bagi. Is this what You give to people who tries being patient?! You know I cry every night, hoping that all these troubles will end. But no. More troubles. Aku tahu aku salah nak cakap macam ni. Tapi dah tkleh angkat luh sia. Nak bebual ngan orang, nobody's got time for me. Mataer pun tk kisah. Baek uh.

You ever have one of those days where you feel like you’re gonna explode? You’re so angry and fed up and miserable that you just sit there and try to control your emotions, but you can’t. Because you don’t know how to deal with them. Ever have one of those days when every person that comes up to you is a trigger? Every sentence spoken to you is a trigger? People come up and say ‘are you okay?’ And you say yes and try to fake a smile because you think maybe you could pretend you’re okay. Plus, you don’t even really know WHY you feel the way you do. It’s just a bunch of mixed emotions that are boiling up inside of you then they suddenly all come out, and you feel stupid & embarrased but you can’t do anything to stop the way you feel. You ever have one of those days where you go in the school washrooms and cry in one of the stalls? Then wash your face and try to make your eyes not look watery, and make the little red blotches under your eyes from crying go away. Because you think it makes you seem weak. & then go back to class and pretend you’re fine when really… you feel like you’re falling apart inside.

Hellooooooooooo, so here I am :D Okay, I'm gonna start talking about my bestie followed by my boyf and then about the awesome mediacorp dj broadcasting thing ok? Yeah. Eh, oh yeah, my birthday eh.. So, start off with my birthday ok?

14th march 2011.
My so-not-awesome-at-all 14th birthday. Thanks to 270 wishes on facebook :D I'm too lazy to name them. Haha, sorry, but thanks for the wishes, I appreciate it alot. I thought only like 50 would wish me. But then, woah. Hahaha. No presents this year. ): But nevermind, didn't even hoped for any. So yeah. Did nothing much luh actually. But my boyf, which people find it very fun to criticize him and make fun of him, was there for me, making time for me to have a cake on my birthday. And yeah, even had a candle for me to blow it out. He's not that bad after all. So guys, whatever I said to you guys, I take it back ok. Nobody's perfect. But at least, when in times of need, he tries to be there for me. Thanks bby. So yeah, thanks bestfriends for wishing me. Nad, fil and mard. Although Mard was like.. Nevermind. I'm not important anymore, anyway.

15th march 2011.
This was the day I went out with my awesome bestie and my bestfriend and my bestie's bestfriend? So yeah. He smells one of a kind sia, his cologne like seriously, lingers like for sooooooooo damn long time before I finally got it off me when I woke up the next day. Haha. You guys must be wondering what I did. Hahaha, lol, nothing much luh actually. We just went to watch Big Momma 3 : Like Father Like Son. It was awesome man, awesome. I like the Prodi-G. Hahahaha. What's the name of the guy? Gosh, I forgot. So yeah, it story line was awesome. Oh yeah, it got cold so I was there like freezing till bestie saw me freezing and then offered me his jacket and then boasts about being ladies man when he got home. HAHHA.So yeah, he's been there for me for this past few days. I'm so glad I found him. I mean, yeah, understand me man. Haha. Oh, he's got a crush on this cute girl. Ok, that was soooo not needed but yeah. Oh yeah, his way of speaking is sooooooooo like my cousin sia. The way he speaks, and the way he sound, exactly like my cousin. LOLLLL. Haha, but seriously, his cologne..... Ohhhhh! He bought me popcorn & coke for my birthday present. LOL, but I gave him the coke. So yeah :D Cause he's a fan of coke and was like seriously in need of coke. Haha, he told me that before meeting so yeah. After the movie, I thought of going back to school to get the form for the next day event but it was raining slightly so we ( nad and me ) were scared about getting the radiation thingy from the rain so we decided to go back. At that point of time, bestie had already left, to the arcade. PFFFT. Guys. So then, met Awi (: Chit-chatted and spent time :D

16th march 2011
This day, I went to Mediacorp Media Academy for the DJ Broadcasting Programme. There was Hai Sing, Siglap, Coral, Bedok South, Bedok North, Tanjong Katong Girl's and I think that's all. Didn't make friends on this day. So yeah, had to listen to alot of theory. Did only a little bit of practical. It was quite boring the first day 'cause I didn't care about what the speaker was saying as it was boring and I didn't give my full attention and also did not participate actively. So yeah. Umm, we had a tour around the studio and stuffs like that and I can tell you one thing. It was damn awesome sia! Gosh. Oh, and the recording place was like, gosh, super cool man! I loike it alot siaaaaaa! But bustard sia this one guy, he scold us for nothing sia! He was like ' Don't make funny faces. If you want to play around, this is not the place ' Wahlao, anyhow scold one sia! It was not even us who did it sia. Wtf. Ms Eng was like being a bitch but it was good uh, show us some respect man! But we just swallowed in down our throat uh. Preten nothing happened. So, it really spoiled our mood. Hahaha, so then, we did the practicals and took quite a number of pictures. Then, we ended late at around 5+ 'cause of the delay of some of the speakers.

17th march 2011
Today was so much way more awesome than yesterday! Oh yeah, Alifah and Phoebe aren't that bad. I should really stop listening to gossips/rumours sia. Most of them are totally not the right thing sia. So yeah, they're seriously awesome people. Today was much more awesome as the speaker wasn't boring at all and I was participating in the talk for quite a lot of time as it was very interesting. Yeah, I love today! :D

So now, I'm just waiting for bestie & Awi to message me. Hais..

Ida Juliet.

Hey peepos. I am super bored and I super don't know what to talk about. Rizal dah give up tgk facebook so at last I get to blogged, as per promised (: So, to start off, thanks cousin, for being here for me & my mum. And thanks for making chicken porridge for me and taking care of me. I feel so much better already & now I can talk well already. Haha, macam budak kecik tak tawu cakap gitu. Haha, thanks yeah. Appreciated much. Oh, thanks for cheering me up too. Kay, go maen psp! Shoo, I want blog. Haha, tkmu sedih. GOOOO.

Yay, at last, the computer is all to myself :D I got two days MC because of bad sore throat and fever. Luckily I went to the doctor fast as my sore throat was seriously bad. I could have needed to go for an operation if I, ahh forget it. No one cares actually.

I have not much to say. Have fun, people.

I try to hide it, but I most definitely am the jealous type. I seriously want to slap everyone who tries to talk to my significant other in a flirty way. When you have someone great, you don’t want their grip to slip out of your hands. So you constantly worry and let it get to you. I know, being the jealous type sucks. But now I try to understand. And yes, I control myself. I know that sometimes the girls aren't at fault.

Every girl needs a man. You know, the kind that’ll treat you right. The kind that has enough respect for you & is willing to change, just to be with you. The kind that searches for you with all his heart & that can be trusted in a room full of beautiful girls. Every girl needs a man who won’t cheat on her because he knows she’s got all that he wants & needs already. He won’t mind calling you early in the morning just to say good morning or late at night to say good night; maybe even sing you a good morning song & tell you a bedtime story or talk to you until you fall asleep. This guy will be the kind that’ll do anything for you, even if it’s to just go to the store & buy you your favorite kind of candy. He would defend & fight for you & wouldn’t bail on you for his friends when you need him most. The kind that won’t leave you lonely & wondering; the one that calls you surprisingly, even if he’s out with his friend, to just tell you that he loves & misses you a lot. The kind that isn’t afraid to smile to his friends every time you’re around & tell them, “She’s the one”. The kind that appreciates you for the things you do for him, even if they’re little. The ones that actually thank you for the little love notes you leave him, waits for you when you’re falling behind, & opens doors for you. Every girl needs a man who will take you out on dates once in awhile & buys you flowers just because it’s a Wednesday. The kind of guy that notices your hair when you just got it cut or done beautifully for him. He would remind you that he loves you & that he’s happy to be with you, just in case you forget. The kind that just doesn’t want kisses & hugs, but to actually be loved & to love. You deserve a guy that will call you beautiful instead of hot, who kisses your forehead when you’re down, tells you to be strong & to not cry, & when you do cry, he’d cry with you when times are hard. The kind that will go through thick & thin with & for you. The kind that just loves you for who you are & not for who you aren’t and loves you because you’re his favorite girl in the whole wide world. The only one that he needs to survive.

Yeah, I like that, alot. It's super true. /: But there's just no guy on Earth that's like that. But someone once asked me, why do girls keep saying that guys are all the same. It's true. Look around you. They can be cute, funny and loving to you at this young age. But look at the couples who are already married. What do you see? Not even as close as holding hands. Not even talking. Maybe they're a few who would not be like that. But accept the fact, guys are all the same.

I just made this up when I was listening to songs in the school & was freaking emo-ing. /: When you listen to a song, & then you find it interesting, you make the effort to find the lyrics or maybe just try to figure out the lyrics yourselves. And then you keep hearing it and memorising the lyrics and then you get used to the song. And then, when you're bored of it, you don't listen to it frequently anymore. And then, one fine day, you totally get tired of it and stop listening to it. Then comes one day, someone plays the song on & you just have a thing for it, your memories. You start listening to it again.

That's how a guy treats a girl. When they find a girl interesting, they make the effort to find more about them or they try making friends with them. And then, they hang out with the girl alot. They manage to capture all their attention and make the girl fall in love with them. Then, when the girl keeps hanging out with them, they get bored. They don't hang out with the girl frequently anymore. One day, they stop contacting at all. Then, the girl walks past. They start to hang out with her again.

It's kinda true to me, as I made it. But I don't believe the last part. /: So, I have nothing else to say. Just FML and yeah.

I miss us. I miss hanging out together. But I know you just don't feel it. I don't want to be desperate. I'm not. But there's just something about you that's not there anymore.

Thanks Rizal for cheering me up on the phone. I'm so gonna miss you like big shit when you leave to migrate /: